Why don't you sing?

So, where do ya wanna go tomorrow?

I don'no. Maybe Maui?

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The (un)Official song of the Clan MacDude

This piece of music has a bit of history with the Clan MacDude. Our dear Cat MacDude first heard it at Northern Faire a few years ago, snagged a copy of the lyrics, and sent it along to us. The song was, and is, a perfect anthem for our glorious Clan. If not for a grand entrance at a Gthering of the Clans, then as a drinking song. The weird thing was, until very recently, we had no idea where this little ditty came from! That has all changed...

On 8 February, I got email from one Lauren Boyd Beebe, Northern California Convenor of the House of Boyd Society. Lauren wrote:

You might consult Randall Dighton of the Royal Stuarts Perfomance Group.
He recorded the song on his "Folking Around" tape. I am not sure who
wrote it... he may have.

He attends most Highland Games and gatherings and meanders through
the crowds singing.  He knows all the bawdy tunes and he ALSO knows
many pretty ballads that are "clean".  To order his tapes, send $11 to
Randall Dighton, Post Office Box 578351, Modesto, CA  95357  He is also
available to perform at weddings and other events.  Great Voice and
wonderful performer.  Has bawdy songs ranging from "G" to "X".

Hope this is helpful to you.

Yours Aye,

I'm not in the habit of plugging anyone, but if any of you steadfast Clannies know this person, me thinks he's well worth indoctrinating at earliest opportunity! Anyway, without further adiue, the Clan MacDude proudly presents: Scotland's Depraved!

Sing to the toon (sic) of Scotland the Brave.

Scotland's Depraved

Bring out the Whiskey, Mother,
I'm feeling frisky, Mother,
(chorus 1) Bring out the sheep for I'm so lonely tonight;
(alternatively: Bring me a sheep to keep me warm through the night)
Bring out the sheets of rubber,
Bring out the peanut butter,
(chorus 2) England's a beggar, but Scotland's depraved.

Bring out my favourite fellow,
Bring out the cherry jello
(chorus 1)
God knows I really wanna,
Bring out the greased Iguana
(chorus 2)

Bring out my little poochie,
We'll do the hootchie-cootchie
(chorus 1)
God knows I wanna disco,
Bring out the butter Crisco
(chorus 2)

Bring out the chimpanzees-es,
We'll give them our diseases
(chorus 1)
Bring out the platypuses,
They've got a thousand uses
(chorus 2)

Call out the Glasgow bobbies,
We'll teach them brand new hobbies
(chorus 1)
Dollies inflatable,
With morals debatable
(chorus 2)

Bring out a Bengal Lancer,
Dressed like a belly dancer
(chorus 1)
God knows I'm really randy,
Good thing I'm really handy
(chorus 2)

Bring out the chains and leather,
Bring out the ostrich feather,
(chorus 1)
Bring out my Uncle Neddie,
Clad in a tartan teddie
(chorus 2)

Swine, donkeys, sheep and cattle,
I'll make their jawbones rattle
(chorus 1)
I'm as horny as a klaxon,
I'll even take a Saxon
(chorus 2)

Now, if anyone has more information about who actually wrote this song, feel free to drop the Clan Archivist a note, and we'll gladly give credit where credit is due (or MORE credit, if that be the case!). If you're a real massochist, watch this space for more additions to the Clan musical archives.